Time Flies

Could you imagine getting to the end of your life, laying in a hospital bed thinking that you did nothing worthwhile with the life you’ve been gifted. Thinking about all the people you could have loved better, deeper, or stronger. Pondering all the lives that you could have changed with your words and actions. What an awful thought thinking that you wasted your life for self gratification and selfishness.

This thought has awakened me this morning, I’ve been examining my life and realizing my own self-pity and my bitter heart because of the situation I’m in. What a waste of time. God calls us into a personal suffering, he calls us into discipline so that our life may be of no concern for us.  Through this, His love enters the earth and freedom is achieved. 

Jesus gives us a perfect example in the garden of Gethsemane before the night he died. He humbly proclaims to God, “My Father, if it is possible, take this cup of suffering from me! Yet not what I want, but what you want.” Jesus shows us that His life was not about Him, but rather the Fathers will to pour His love into the world. God wants to pour His love into the world through us. This can only be done through denying ourselves and persevering towards Him and his example of love. 

During college, I often enjoyed going on runs through cemeteries. It was so humbling to run and to see all of these people who have died before me and to think what came of there lives, what did they truly accomplish and how are they remembered in this life? It made me realize that life is only a moment between two eternities and that I want to do everything in my power to be obedient to God. 

Recently, I haven’t been aware of what God wills of my life. I realized this morning that if I were to die tomorrow, I wouldn’t be satisfied today of the accomplishments in my life. I want this coming year to be the most loving year I’ve ever had, I want this coming month to be a month of extreme growth for my heart for God, I want to be the most thankful that I’ve ever been today. This all may sound crazy and the perfectionist in me is coming out, but I know it is possible because it is God that lives in me. He has conquered death and brought life to this world, therefore He can accomplish amazing things through me when I accept the cup of suffering He offers!