There are so many reasons everyday to be thankful. Some days
we grasp every opportunity to give thanks and other days we allow these
opportunities to pass us by. Now I am not just talking about the good
situations, but as well those situations that in the moment do not always bring
us to our knees in gratitude.
About two years ago, after freshly moving to Switzerland,
enrolling myself in a German class, and beginning to really plant my roots
here, I was experiencing some serious stomach pains. I waited to see if the
pain would go away since I could, for the most part, bare it. Long story short,
it did not. So my husband took me in to the hospital, since I was not yet
signed up at a general practitioner’s or a gynecologist’s office.
The doctor at the hospital told me, “I have great news for
you two, you’re pregnant!” We both cried, one tears of joy and the other tears
of uncertainty. Those who know us well, can well guess who was who. But the
pain was still there and is ultimately abnormal in early pregnancy.
They took me for an ultrasound, where they discovered that I
not only had an eptopic pregnancy, where the baby had aborted itself into a
ruptured blood vessel, but due to that I also had been experiencing, for about
a week, internal bleeding. I passed out of the table and started to bleed,
which then lead the physicians to rush me into the OR due to the amount of
blood that I was losing.
Everything went as planned, they told me. I experienced
minimal damage and they estimated a fairly quick recovery time.
It really was a miracle for us. If I had gone to a
gynecologist office or a general practitioner, I would be dead. I would’ve lost
too much blood before they could have operated on me. God saved my life that
day and left us with gratitude in our hearts.
Now fast forward a few months. I finally sign up at the
gynecologist office and after the first check up, he tells me, “ I am sorry to
say, but due to the scar tissue from your surgery, you may never be able to
bear children.”
Abraham and I were shook up. Why did this happen and how
could it happen? We knew our lives belong to God and he is the giver of
children. We try our best to honor Him with all that we do, why wouldn’t he
want to gift us with children for our lives?
After our questions, prayers, and conversations together and
with God about this whole situation, we received a deep peace. “Be still and
know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) That’s what we believed. He is God and He
has EVERYTHING under control. All the finer details of our lives, He’s got it.
So we went on living life, giving thanks for even this
situation and allowing God’s timing and will for our lives to take dominion of
our lives.
And that it did. We grew deeper together in trusting in the
unknown, with the knowledge that this world is fleeting before our eyes. We
grew in the peace of understanding that we may never have children of our own
genetic make up and ultimately we grew in a deeper love for our good, good
father.
A year and a half later, I was busy traveling around
Switzerland with a girlfriend of mine, full of joy and excitement, when Abraham
had encouraged me to take a pregnancy test. And so I did, understanding that
all things are possible with God, but also not living with the expectation of
anything.
Sure enough, it was positive. A miracle. A gift from God,
truly! Now, almost 4 months pregnant, happy and healthy as can be. God’s timing
is perfect. He sometimes needs to take us through trails, challenges,
situations, to grow us in endurance and strength, but He is good and always
good.
We will welcome our baby bean into the world, early next
spring and each day we grow in excitement to get to meet this new life that God
has given to us.
