To My Dearest Baby Girl

This whole becoming-a-mama process has really stirred in my heart all the wishes that I have for my baby girl.  Which led me to write this letter for the little life that is inside of me and as well for all women, who are faced with the challenges that this life throws at us. I know that I had it easy growing up in the time I did, in comparison to what is to come. Therefore, I decided to share a tidbit of the wisdom that has come to me over my short time thus far. It is short and sweet, but I hope it may encourage you wherever you are. Be the love and be loved my friends

My dearest unborn baby girl,

You are being born into a world that is in dire need of restoration. The fact of the matter is, we live in a day and age, where everyone longs for love. That is the bottom line. I believe the world was always so, but recently this longing has become so evident and transparent to us all, thanks to social media, television, radio, podcasts, you name it. Everything and anything can be found by the click of a button. We are exposed, more than ever, to this need, perhaps so much so that we as humans have grown numb to recognize the underlying cause of it in many situations. 

When we as humans can understand that this need to be loved exists in all humans. It gives us a multitude of explanations, in regards to human behavior. It gives us wisdom on how to react or respond in certain situations and ultimately, it teaches us how to love our fellow man in a better way.

As a female in this society, you may feel all sorts of expectations from those around you.

I have so often experienced, through relationships, media, etc., the atmosphere of striving to meet these expectations amongst women. Striving to be thinner, prettier, more popular, or just simply loved in whatever way possible.

My message to you is: know that you are loved. Not just by your family and friends, but by a father who is far beyond our understanding. Who he, himself, is ...love. He sent his only son, not just to save the world, but specifically to save you. Even if you were alone on this earth, he still would’ve sent his only son to simply save YOU my dear. That’s how much you are already loved.

Try not to buy into the lies, that may be tempting at the time, but rather believe in the truth of who you are, as a daughter of God. This truth will set you free to grow and to prosper into exactly the person you were made to be. You will learn that you do not need to seek love elsewhere. Not from the confirmation of social media, a friend group, a boy, grades, a sports team, simply be and be loved and all the radiance, that your soul possesses will shine through any doubt that you may face.

Once you can grasp this love and you delight in it, do not be afraid or ashamed to pass it on to those around you. For it is the greatest gift that you can give. It's the gift that will bring freedom and so much more. 

You are so loved, therefore you can be love. Already, as you lie in my womb, unknown and have yet to even make a sound on this earth, you are already beyond loved. Simply by being. Amazing. Life is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

Xoxo,

Your deep-in-thought, highly pregnant mama

Human Beings not Human Doings

I am currently writing from a semi-bedrest, in the hopes that little baby bean stays inside of me as long as need be.

During this time, I am learning to be, not to do.

This is a crucial lesson for anybody to learn. 

I believe, if we cannot be well, than we will not do well.

All of our doing, comes out of our being.

So here I am, with restrictions to rest, relax and rejuvenate. 

How can I do anything, but be?

Well, it's easy if you have certain type A, underlying characteristics. 

But for the sake of my baby and my marriage for that matter, I am learning to be. 

I would say, the last 6 months were fairly hectic, trying to balance 3 jobs, taking care of the household, and making it a priority to have an open house, where all feel welcome.

It was a genuinely fulfilling time, but I found it easy to get caught up in the simple doings of life, rather than focusing on: who my father is and who does that make me because of what He has already done.
Specifically, to fully except His grace and His love in my life.

If we, the church, cannot except and take in this grace and love, how could we ever fully pass on this abundant gift to those around us?

How could we lead authentic and audacious lives?

Why would someone want to live a life with Jesus, if they have not yet experienced the depths of the grace and love that our Father has for us?

Perhaps, to logically try to save oneself from hell, but that's ultimately missing out on the fullness of life that we are offered in the here and now, when we decide to follow Jesus. 

If you know or even if you do not know Jesus, think for a moment about all of the restoration that He wants to bring in your life.

Just sit in this thought, how much does He love you and wants to heal you from sickness, fear, despair, emptiness, etc. 

How much joy, peace, love, grace, kindness, and hope is he waiting to give you?

I do not think we can even begin to fathom the answer to this question. 

It is beyond our comprehension. 

Now, I am not accusing you of being a messed up basket case, but chances are, if you are a human you are :)

We all are.

We all are in need of God's saving grace, regardless how put together our lives appear to be. 

If you are familiar with the Bible at all, think about how often Jesus relates mankind to seeds, plants or flowers.

The sower and the seed, the parable of the mustard seed, Luke 12, where Jesus compares the beauty of flowers to one of the richest kings in the old testament. 

Plants do nothing from reason, logic or duty, they simply grow and cannot even control that, now, can they? 

The growth comes from the help of the gardener, who waters, prunes, or cuts the branch, or the clouds, which give rain, or the sun, which gives light. 

They cannot consciously grow.

Their duty is to be and so much beauty, growth and fruit comes from their task of being.

He is the vine, we are the branches.

All we need to DO is BE close to Him and we will bear much fruit. 

Skillful Seeing

One of my favorite stories from my childhood is about the time I learned how to ride a bike.
After I slowly started to get the hang of it, my dad took me around the block, following close by to help me up when I fall and to give me a push, when I was ready to start again.
The second turn around the corner of the block, I took a bit too widely and hit a tree that was in between the street and sidewalk.

After falling my dad asked me if I was okay.
I looked up at him and said, "Yes! This tree saved my life dad!"
And he replied saying, "Jeanna what are you talking about?"
Excited and all, knowing that I was still alive with only bumps and bruises, I answered, "If this tree wasn't here, than I would have gotten hit by that car."
Perspective my friends
It changes everything.
Of course it is always good to see the good in every situation, but what I find even more crucial is the ability to see the bigger picture.
If I was not able to see the bigger picture as I crashed into the tree, the situation could have turned bitter, frustrating, or discouraging.
Instead, it was a situation full of gratitude.
Gratitude is in the eyes of the beholder.
How we see effects how we live.
If we have the ability to see the trees in our lives that prevent us from a car crash, than we will live our lives out from a place of gratitude.
A heart full of gratitude changes moments, days, years and even lives.
CS Lewis writes, "Looking always comes first." (The Great Divorce)
How we look, how we see, effects the reaction of our hearts and if our hearts are full of gratitude, love, joy, we will speak and react in such a way.
"The words you speak come from the heart." (Matthew 15:18)
This is a deep desire for my life.
To be able to see the trees that stand in the way of the cars and to give thanks, always.
To give thanks during the confusion, the joy, the pain, and the good.
For I know, I have a good, good Father.
Who is ALWAYS good, it is only my sight that could be bad.

Vision Vitality

My husband and I took a little trip to spend some days resting and reflecting upon 2016 and to formulate dreams and goals for 2017. 

We read, prayed, traveled, ate, drank, laughed, and most importantly we spent time just being. 

It was delightful.

During one of the afternoons that we spent at the hotel, we sat down and shared what we envision for 2017. 

One of the challenges that I gave myself is to write more.

I've missed writing blogs and I have been encouraged and asked by many, why haven't you written? 

So it brought me to question myself...Why? 

Why did you stop writing Jeanna?

Of course, it was a busy season, I mean a baby on the way, working 3 different jobs, taking care of a household, etc. 

But those are no excuses. 

What this question lead me to believe, is that I stopped writing due to the lack of vision. 

Where there is no vision, people perish (Proverbs 29:18). 

Humans need vision to sustain life. 

Vision is life giving and no great movement or act in history was performed without a strong vision behind it. 

Vision gives meaning and gives us sight to what others may be incapable to see. 

It helps us create and it helps us dream.

It gives us the strength to choose a different way, rather than following down the path of least resistance, which our culture often tells us is the way to go.

Vision gives us a reason to avoid slipping into comfort in this world and encourages us to make the hard, life changing decisions. 

If we want to be successful at anything in life, regardless of what it might be. 

Career related, health related, faith related, relational, or financial.

We need vision. 

We cannot simply live so near-sighted.

Foresight, oversight, and insight are essential to our dreams, goals, and vision.

So now for those of you who believe in an eternal life to come, you already have a vision for your life. You know where you are going and chances are you know how to get there. All you need to do to equip yourself is to find out what your goals or stepping stones in this life are to accomplish the will over your life. How wonderful is that?! 

So I encourage you, develop foresight, maintain a good oversight, and always keep insight on your life and your vision for your life. 

Just as I will for this sweet little blog of mine:) 

May this year be your best year yet! 

Our Tiny Tale

There are so many reasons everyday to be thankful. Some days we grasp every opportunity to give thanks and other days we allow these opportunities to pass us by. Now I am not just talking about the good situations, but as well those situations that in the moment do not always bring us to our knees in gratitude.

About two years ago, after freshly moving to Switzerland, enrolling myself in a German class, and beginning to really plant my roots here, I was experiencing some serious stomach pains. I waited to see if the pain would go away since I could, for the most part, bare it. Long story short, it did not. So my husband took me in to the hospital, since I was not yet signed up at a general practitioner’s or a gynecologist’s office. 

The doctor at the hospital told me, “I have great news for you two, you’re pregnant!” We both cried, one tears of joy and the other tears of uncertainty. Those who know us well, can well guess who was who. But the pain was still there and is ultimately abnormal in early pregnancy.

They took me for an ultrasound, where they discovered that I not only had an eptopic pregnancy, where the baby had aborted itself into a ruptured blood vessel, but due to that I also had been experiencing, for about a week, internal bleeding. I passed out of the table and started to bleed, which then lead the physicians to rush me into the OR due to the amount of blood that I was losing.

Everything went as planned, they told me. I experienced minimal damage and they estimated a fairly quick recovery time.

It really was a miracle for us. If I had gone to a gynecologist office or a general practitioner, I would be dead. I would’ve lost too much blood before they could have operated on me. God saved my life that day and left us with gratitude in our hearts.

Now fast forward a few months. I finally sign up at the gynecologist office and after the first check up, he tells me, “ I am sorry to say, but due to the scar tissue from your surgery, you may never be able to bear children.”

Abraham and I were shook up. Why did this happen and how could it happen? We knew our lives belong to God and he is the giver of children. We try our best to honor Him with all that we do, why wouldn’t he want to gift us with children for our lives?

After our questions, prayers, and conversations together and with God about this whole situation, we received a deep peace. “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) That’s what we believed. He is God and He has EVERYTHING under control. All the finer details of our lives, He’s got it.

So we went on living life, giving thanks for even this situation and allowing God’s timing and will for our lives to take dominion of our lives.

And that it did. We grew deeper together in trusting in the unknown, with the knowledge that this world is fleeting before our eyes. We grew in the peace of understanding that we may never have children of our own genetic make up and ultimately we grew in a deeper love for our good, good father.

A year and a half later, I was busy traveling around Switzerland with a girlfriend of mine, full of joy and excitement, when Abraham had encouraged me to take a pregnancy test. And so I did, understanding that all things are possible with God, but also not living with the expectation of anything.

Sure enough, it was positive. A miracle. A gift from God, truly! Now, almost 4 months pregnant, happy and healthy as can be. God’s timing is perfect. He sometimes needs to take us through trails, challenges, situations, to grow us in endurance and strength, but He is good and always good.

We will welcome our baby bean into the world, early next spring and each day we grow in excitement to get to meet this new life that God has given to us.

An Authentic Actuality

There is something about going away that just makes me think.

We had the opportunity to travel to Mauritius for about 10 days. We started our trip helping out at a conference for youth and ended with some R&R.

It was wonderful.

I learned far more than I taught during the conference.

The wonderful people that we met during our time there truly touched my heart and made an everlasting memory.

Really, they were such hospitable, kind, generous, and loving people with touching stories behind each of their smiles.

They have hearts that long not only for change within the lives of their friends, but as well for their entire country.

They live with an awareness of the reality of God’s salvation for His people and with that knowledge they love their friends by being unashamed to share the Gospel.

This is courageous for teenagers/young adults to do.

What touched me the most, were their stories. Many had seen deaths of siblings, parents abandoning families, violence, etc. but they lived with a deep and convicting joy and thankfulness.

From my time with these young people, I feel as if they are in the process of mastering the following verses in James:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

What is important to notice is, it does not say if you meet trials, it says when.

We will all meet trials in our lives, therefore it is a given.

These trials will be challenging, difficult and just flat out hard.

But the outcome of these trials will be a reflection of where we are rooted.

Will we count them all as joy? Will we be able to understand that we are gaining endurance or steadfastness? So that we may one day be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing?

When I asked one of the girls to tell me her story, she simply said “Life has not always been easy, my mother left when I was 7 and I have 3 other siblings. It’s been hard at times, but Jesus has been my rock and there are always reasons to be thankful and to have joy.”

When we have thankfulness in our hearts, joy is the byproduct. We can easily look at every/any situation and see the negative side to it. What do we choose to see? What do we decide to make our reality?

Are we able to see joy in the most difficult of times and situations? A parent leaving, a sibling dying, circumstances changing, rejection, failure, do we understand that our Father is good and always means good for us.

I can look at my own life and see how my perspective can so quickly change depending on if I choose to see the glass half empty of half full. Let’s take this small example of a choice I have every morning when I wake up. I can either see my reality as…

I live as a foreigner here, marginalized by the society due to my accent or lack of cultural competence. I cannot use my talents to their full potential and am not good enough.

Or

I get the opportunity to live in a foreign country, learn a new language, and culture. Grow and prosper in patience, gentleness, peace, and love in all areas of life.

So my friends, the choice is ours. Who do we want to be, how do we want to see life and do we want to choose joy in our various trials.

The Sumptuous Surprises

Hello fellow readers,

I am happy to say after encouragement from friends, family, and even strangers I am back at it.

Writing about the beautiful ways in which I encounter pieces of heaven in my daily grind.

The past two months, I feel as if I was on a roller coast ride looping through what we call life.

SO MANY great things have happened. I am looking forward to explaining them to y’all!

Let me just begin by giving a praise to God. He’s the almighty, the alpha and omega. He truly knows our hearts, to the very last detail. Amazing.

Now before I had taken this little writing break, I had said that I was coming out of a fairly intense time of learning, processing and most of all growing.

During this time I hit a point, where I said in all honesty to my husband, “Abraham I feel like I am giving everything to God I am sacrificing my own wants and desires to follow Him and I just feel like I am forgotten.”

Those who know me personally, know that this is not a normal statement that would come out of my mouth. God is good, no matter what…period. Regardless of the hardships, he has EVERYTHING under control. So what lead me to say this?

Well ultimately the answer is an unthankful heart, but in this moment I could’ve listed one million reasons of how life just hasn’t quite turned out as expected.

So I gave my situation to God in prayer. Just spoke out my heart—the good, the bad, and the ugly. While I received the freedom that comes from openly speaking this out, I remembered,

“Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

This verse changed my prayers. It’s amazing really. By simply taking delight in Him my desires seemed to change from what I do not have to simply what I long for.

This change, although small, had an impact on my heart. When I focus on where I am lacking, I am already setting myself up for a mental failure and an unthankful heart.

When I focus on what the Word says is true for those who delight in Him and how well He means for those who love him, I am focusing on miracles, heaven on earth, and a positive future. My heart becomes thankful and encouraged for what is to come!

Now let me tell you a few ways of how God answered. How He heard the deep desires of my heart, the majority of these desires I did not even bother to speak out.

HE SIMPLY KNEW IT.

He gave me the opportunity to meet the newest little addition to my family while enjoying a wonderful vacation with the rest of my family.

He sent one of my dearest friends from the states to visit me for two weeks. Where we just talked, traveled, drank coffee, talked some more and simply rested in the joy of being together.

He just so happened to plan an event in Zurich that one of my closest college friends will be planning! Which means we will have 5 days after her event to travel to the beautiful country of France for our stay in Paris.

He gave my husband and I the opportunity to take a trip to the beautiful island of Mauritius, where we will work a conference and help out a local church there. Afterwards we have an additional 7-day stay on the island—with everything paid!

Now last, but certainly not least. I have been given the opportunity to encourage, be encouraged, love, be loved, guide, be guided, be a witness, witness, and celebrate all for the glory of His kingdom!

God is so good—with or without the gifts, the trips, the opportunities, the money.

He hears us and knows the desires of our heart. He is a good father, who means well for us. I encourage all of you to know that where you are, you are so deeply loved, you are not forgotten and you have a father that means deeply good for you, independent from your worldly circumstances!